How to Set Boundaries as a Teacher and Why it’s so Important

Whether you’ve been teaching for 5 minutes or 5 years, knowing how to set boundaries as a teacher can determine how much longer you’ll want to continue your career.

It’s so easy for teaching to take over your life. And while this can seem endearing in the beginning, over the long-term, it can take a serious toll on your mental health and personal life.

And it’s an issue that all too many teachers have.

In the teaching profession, the boundaries between our work hours and personal lives can get fuzzy. This is especially true with things like online learning and communication methods that can easily cause your professional life to take over your personal time.

This makes it all the more important to learn healthy boundary-setting.

Following are some tips for healthy boundary setting. They will help you create an environment of mutual respect with parents, students, and administrators so you can have long-lasting job satisfaction.

Why is it so important to learn how to set boundaries as a teacher?

Teaching is a unique field. You’re being asked to spend more waking hours with other people’s children than they do and help shape who they become as people. This can lead to murky emotional boundaries, which is not a good place to be.

When your emotional boundaries are unclear, you may find yourself bringing home mental and emotional baggage from the school day, having a hard time unplugging from situations at school, and an inability to let go of the guilt of wanting to separate your personal space and life from your students.

Over time, this can lead to debilitating issues.

Compassion fatigue, which is actually a form of vicarious trauma, is something experienced by a lot of teachers. This comes from having a hard time setting firm boundaries, whether physical, mental, or emotional.

As I mentioned, the nature in which we interact with one another brings another issue. Things like late-night emails, a lack of (or interrupted) planning periods, and late work days spent marking or otherwise tending to classroom business all make it both more challenging and more important to learn to set boundaries.

It’s hard not to want to be everything to everyone. However, being a people-pleaser as a teacher is a trait that will burn you out fast.

How to Set boundaries as a teacher - Why is it so important for educators to set boundaries? A ladies hand holding a little sign saying - 'Learn to Say No!'

How to set boundaries as a teacher: Learning where to start

Whether it feels like it or not, you are a capable professional. And it’s important to speak up for yourself.

This is not to say that you put together a set of strict rules that cut everyone off from you. (It can be easy to overcorrect in this way, especially when you’re on the cusp of burnout.)

But you also need to understand where you’ve made a martyr of yourself and take responsibility for your role.

Before learning how to set boundaries as a teacher, it’s essential to look at WHERE you need to set boundaries as a teacher. For example:

Do you still go to school when you’re sick and would benefit from a day or two of rest?
When your to-do list feels overwhelming, do you bring work home and continue with things, even when your loved ones would like to spend time with you?
Do you keep work communication on your phone, even though every time a message comes through, you can feel that surge of cortisol run through your system?

It may feel like it will be the end of the world if you don’t answer a guardian email right away or if you decide to do a pass/fail instead of detailed marking on every assignment, but finding the small ways that these things creep into your personal life is a good indicator of where you can start setting small boundaries with yourself, your students, and with parents.

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When you don’t know how to set boundaries as a teacher, guilt takes over

As women, mothers, and teachers, we seem to be conditioned to feel GUILT.

Guilty when we’re not working or doing ENOUGH, or just doing ALL. THE. THINGS for everyone else!

For example:

You’re working on a Sunday, planning for school, and get the guilts that you SHOULD be spending time with your family, or you feel fed up that you don’t have any personal time.
You’re enjoying your well-deserved weekend and having some quality time with your kids, but you feel guilty that you’re not laminating the new resource you made or prepping for the new week.

But, if you keep focusing on what you’re not doing, or it’s not good enough, or that there aren’t enough hours in the day, you can’t win!

You end up spending far too many hours working… maybe to prove to yourself (or, more likely, others) that you are a good teacher.

To be honest, teaching is one of those professions that you could work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and still feel like it wasn’t enough to get it all done.

Ultimately, you MUST realise that to be the best for your students and the job, you need to be your BEST self.

And to be your BEST self, you MUST set boundaries, even if it is difficult and might come across to others as selfish.

So, what do healthy boundaries look like for a teacher anyway?

How to set boundaries as a teacher

Firstly, before you start setting up your clear boundaries, you’ll need to identify what you want in life and start with these goals in mind.

Ask yourself these questions:

Do you get over tired or fatigued?
Do you feel like you could be a workaholic and continue to work unsustainable hours?
Is your health suffering?
Or is your family complaining that they don’t see you?
When you are at home, are you too distracted to appreciate them?

All of these are warning signs that you’re suffering from a lack of professional boundaries. It’s up to you to decide that you’ve had enough. Following are my recommendations for a healthy work-life balance that you can create with better professional and personal boundaries.

Related Article: Secrets for Work-Life Balance for Teachers

Set non-negotiable working hours

This is a strategy I’ve been doing for several years. It’s one of the first things that can get you on the right track when it comes to having better boundaries and lowering your overall stress level.

It may seem impossible at first, but once you start seeing the difference it makes for your family time and tending to your own needs, you’ll understand how important protecting your time outside of school is.

To do this, think about what you can commit to and what fits your schedule. It may be staying at school from 7:00-4:00 pm every day or 8:00 to 5:00 pm. Once you’ve decided on your times, there are two things to keep in mind:

This is where you will need to set a boundary with YOURSELF to commit to the times. It’s easy for us to “five more minutes” ourselves into oblivion.
You may decide after a couple of weeks that the hours need to shift, or that there are certain days you want to adjust. That’s okay, just remember that this is for yourself so you have the time you need to create a healthy balance of work and personal life.
If you decide to amend your schedule, remember not to just ADD hours. Try to keep the number of hours consistent, even if certain days of the week look different.

The Benefit: This tip has done wonders for me. Having a time limit for my workday has made me much more focused and productive with my time. Plus, I don’t take work home. I can leave it at school, go home, and switch off at the end of the day.

Related Article: 7 Super Easy Ways to Simplify Your Teacher Life

How to set boundaries as a teacher: Decide on work-free days

Early in my teaching career, I realized that school was taking over my life. I would spend every night and all weekend prepping for school, making new resources, lesson planning, marking, etc. This is so common for teachers, and it’s a huge path to burnout.

To get better balance, I established days that I would NOT work. For me, this was Friday nights and Saturdays.

During the busiest times of term, I would allow some Sunday afternoons, or the occasional weeknight if I had additional school work to complete.

Note: This should be decided in advance. For instance, if you know the last two weeks of term are extra packed, you may decide specific time blocks to allow work outside of your regular schedule. Don’t use this as an excuse to let school things bleed outside of your established work schedule.

BENEFIT: Having set these work-free days will help you to SWITCH OFF and STOP thinking about school when at home. You get the rest and relaxation time needed to recover and reenergize. This is essential to your overall wellbeing.

Related Articles: Teachers – Want Work-Life Balance? Try This!

Set a finite time for marking

Marking is one of those things that can easily take over your time.

Schedule dedicated marking time into your week, and be clear on how much time that will be. When you’ve hit your limit, stop. It may be challenging at first, but over time, you’ll develop a habit of marking in a way that fits with the schedule you’ve created.

BENEFIT: You’ll find that setting a finite time for marking helps you to become more PRODUCTIVE, and you’ll use your time more EFFICIENTLY, which is what you need as a busy teacher. It also helps you maintain good, consistent judgment and have reliable insight into student work.

Learn to work smarter as a teacher with these helpful productivity tips:

How to set boundaries as a teacher with communication

In the digital age, parents have come to expect 24/7 access to teachers. And it’s okay to say no to this culture.

Here are some ways to create better boundaries around communication with parents and guardians so you can maintain your personal life:

Do not give out your personal phone number: I know this is a hot topic, and it has come to be expected. And even if some parents already have it, make sure they understand that you don’t take phone calls or text messages related to school through your personal number.
Keep work emails off your phone: Open communication is important. But you can’t create healthy relationships if you have a lack of boundaries around when and how you communicate with parents and guardians.
Set clear expectations on the time and frequency that guardians can expect to receive a reply: Most people (or, most reasonable people) are not upset if they don’t receive a reply at 10 pm to a work-related question. The issues arise when you don’t have clear guidelines on when they can expect a reply. Resist the urge to reply immediately to every message. Not only does this cause time management issues, but it also sets a precedent of being constantly available.
Do not add parents/guardians on social media: Again, you deserve to have a life outside of school. If you befriend a parent or guardian, kindly let them know that once their child is no longer a student, you will be happy to add them, but that in the meantime, you choose to keep work and personal life separate.

If you’ve had porous boundaries in the past, some of this may seem over the top, but when your well-being is on the line, these are practical strategies for a better school year.

Schedule in breaks

When you are working, it is easy for many hours to go by before you realise it.

Instead, set a timer for say 1 hour, focus without distractions for the whole 60 minutes and then take a short break.

STAND UP, STRETCH & TAKE A WALK. Have a drink and then get back to it.

This time management approach is called the Promodoro technique and uses a timer to separate your working time into intervals (traditionally 25 minutes).

Your rest pause only needs to be 5 or 10 mins and it will help you REFRESH and ENERGIZE ready to get back on the job (don’t use this rest time to hop on a screen, as this defeats the purpose of taking a break).

BENEFIT: Taking regular breaks throughout your working day helps reduce back pain and mental fatigue needed to preserve your energy.

Related Article: 7 Easy Tips to Increase Teacher Productivity

Release the guilt

As I’ve said already, it’s common to feel guilty when setting boundaries.

I know you’re probably are a very caring and empathetic person and don’t want to hurt other’s feelings.

BUT… if you’re honest and upfront with what YOU need, there should be no shame in that! And if others truly respect and care for you, they won’t be mad and will allow you to set the boundaries that you need for yourself.

I think that if one teacher starts to put herself first, she will show others it’s ok to do the same and you’ll lead the way for other teachers to take BETTER care of themselves.

BENEFIT: If teachers live in a more authentic way; taking care of their needs and being TRUE to themselves, you’ll become your best self and maybe the culture in schools might change for the better.

So, do your best to LET GO OF THE GUILT and stand up for yourself!

Step 6: Be clear and unapologetic

Speak BOLDLY, speak CLEARLY, and speak up without apologising!

Sometimes people won’t like it when you create new boundaries, and that’s OK. You are not here to please everyone and be everything to everybody.

You’ve got to do what’s BEST for you and your energy. Your body will thank you!

Remember AS A TEACHER, “You can’t pour from an empty cup!“

What are some examples of boundaries you can set as a teacher?

Say, “No Thank you” if you are asked to do extra supervision duties (It’s not being uncooperative, it’s for SELF PRESERVATION)
Say, “Sorry, I don’t have time for that” if you’re asked to take on extra work (remember, be clear and unapologetic and release the guilt)
Walk away from a conversation if you don’t have time for it or it becomes negative or toxic
Say, “Unfortunately I can’t make that meeting, as I have a prior engagement.“
Leave your classroom at lunchtime and take a walk to clear your head and get away from school work
Take your breaks and sit down to eat – THIS IS CRUCIAL!
Go to the toilet when you need to (ask the teacher next to your room to supervise your kids) Remember, NO guilt!
Spend time with your family on the weekend and don’t exclude yourself from special events
Know your entitlements and CLEARLY and FIRMLY stick to them.

Don’t forget to get the FREE Working Smarter Tips here, befor you go:

How to set boundaries as a teacher: Focus on clear limits and the desire for positive relationships

I know setting boundaries can be tough, especially if it’s new to you.

It gets more challenging if you get feedback about being difficult, but know that without setting these boundaries, you’re at high risk of chronic stress, health issues, and burning out. And all of this is before you even consider the impact on your relationships.

If you’re looking for balance (and a sustainable career!) these are all actionable steps you can take as a teacher to create new boundaries and form good relationships with your students and their guardians.

Understand that creating your boundaries is an ongoing process, and what worked for one season of life may not work for another. It’s okay to create the kind of support you need for each season by establishing and communicating new boundaries.

Remember, you are the one who has to take action for yourself, and when you do, you’re protecting your time, energy, and relationships so you can have a lasting teaching career. And it’s going to be worth it.

This quote sums up the importance of setting boundaries for yourself:

“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.”
Anna Taylor

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Michelle x

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How to Set Boundaries as a Teacher and Why it’s so Important

Why is it so important to learn how to set boundaries as a teacher?

How to set boundaries as a teacher: Learning where to start

When you don’t know how to set boundaries as a teacher, guilt takes over